Delays

The garden project is on hold for now. I have hotter irons in the fire these days. And no, despite my age, I'm not talking about hot flashes! I don't really get those anyway. I think I still have plenty of estrogen in my system. More likely too much rather than not enough since I have many of the symptoms of estrogen dominance. Like being majorly overweight. Oh the joy of female hormones out of balance! Of course, being a carb loving lady, especially the ones in the chocolate category who has trouble with the whole concept of moderation in anything, might also have SOMETHING to do with it.😁

The hotter irons would be getting my home and family in order. This has always been a struggle for me. I'm not a naturally neat, tidy, organized, jump up and do it type person. I'm more of an ADD, artsy, need time to process, let's have coffee and build relationships type of person who has a hard time figuring out how much time and space things require. Jim also is very artsy/creative and at times easily side tracked. Most of our kids are organizationally challenged as well, and the one who isn't has a lot of health issues, which makes it hard for her to stay on top of stuff.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, I just basically started to crash and burn. Life just became overwhelming. The combo of kid issues ( all five have been living here this summer, and certain pairs and combos don't exactly exude harmonious interactions ), too many cats ( 10 ) for a while, finances, finding out all of a sudden that may daycare job was going to end shortly ( we really need the money ), Jim being way too busy with work and other things, and lots of sickness/ health issues in the family, along with being under the weather myself for several days just left me depleted of energy, and so, pretty much nothing got done.

Toward the end of last week, I decided I needed to work.on getting my life in better order. It wasn't particularly well ordered even before the mini crash, so I figured I'd just start from scratch. I'm working on making a home management binder. I just have a little bit in there so far, but it's a start. I put in a blank monthly calendar and wrote in all of our planned stuff for August as well as a weekly calendar, which I filled in. Then I printed off a daily checklist. Not necessarily things I'm doing, but things I should be. I put that inside a page protector. This includes things like meal prep, dishes/kitchen clean up after meals, sorting through mail, making my bed, and straightening up the house. I've been able to get everything else other than the straightening up under control. My house is such a mess! It would take several hours to get it all picked up. And I'm not even talking about clean. Just straightened. In other words, do not come visit me at this juncture unless you are extremely brave AND up to date on all your shots! But I am working on the straightening up thing. The kitchen and dining room are surface clean and reasonably neat most of the time, and now my bedroom is too, so progress is happening. I've also been whittling down the laundry mountain by doing a load or two each day, and for the past couple days have been making sure I get dressed, do my hair and make up as well as my daily grooming/hygiene and showering as needed. So that's my honest, real life non Martha Stewart, imperfect state of hearth and home at this juncture. My natural prideful tendency would be to cover it up and hide  as a defense against being judged by others who would probably have to be dead before their home and family ever fell into this degree of disarray. But I'm doing my best not to do that. Cuz that gives others WAY too much power over my life, and no one should have that much dominion over my sense of value except for God. Do I believe he wants more order in my life? Absolutely. But I also believe that He's pleased to see me on the journey and pours out His grace and love even when the destination looms far in the distance. He loves me just as much in my mess as He will at any other point in eternity. And besides even those girls with neat, clean, pretty, Martha Stewart standard homes and lives have their own " messy " areas. Maybe they don't show up outwardly, but everyone has their struggles. We are imperfect beings living in a fallen world. But thankfully we have a perfect and infallible God of grace, mercy, and help.